How to Fix Anxious Attachment Style in 2024 – Expert Advice

Learn how to fix anxious attachment styles is simple with the right mindset. Follow our guide on healing your insecure attachment style & strategies to cope.

Anxious attachment styles can often feel like emotional rollercoasters, characterized by persistent worry about your relationships and friendships. Fortunately, there are strategies and insights to help you transform your insecure attachment into a more secure and fulfilling style of relating to others. Follow our comprehensive guide on how to fix anxious attachment styles, with expert advice and steps that can support you.

Deep-Dive Into Different Attachment Styles

Understanding different habits is the first step in learning how to fix an anxious attachment style. There are four main attachment styles, each based on how childhood trauma or early relationships with our caregivers shaped the way we show up in adult relationships:

• Secure Attachment Style: Individuals with this style are comfortable with intimacy and are generally secure in their approach to relationships or friendships.

• Anxious Attachment Style: Those with this style often crave closeness and validation, believing they must earn their partner’s commitment.

• Avoidant Attachment Style: These individuals value independence and may distance themselves from their partners when feelings of emotional intimacy arise.

• Disorganized Attachment Style: This style is characterized by both avoidant and anxious behavior, often due to inconsistent caregiving in childhood.

By recognizing these patterns, you can better understand your behaviors and reactions. Anxious attachment symptoms may heighten during relationships or times of perceived rejection, yet being self-aware of these patterns will aid in your healing journey.

Take Notes From Securely Attached People

Securely attached people tend to have healthy relationships, marked by trust, open communication, and a confident approach to intimacy. Therefore, one of the most effective ways to fix an anxious attachment style is by mirroring these secure behaviors from our close inner circle. Consider observing their behavior during times of high stress, asking their advice on relationship communication, and taking in their constructive feedback.

Building Self-Esteem to Overcome Your Anxious Attachment

Building self-esteem often lessens the anxious attachment by making you prioritize your own need for love, connection, and self-worth. One way to do this is by self-parenting – speaking kindly to yourself with compassion and understanding. You may also consider focusing on small, personal goals such as eating dinner alone or doing daily tasks independently to build your self-confidence.

Quiet Your Anxiety with Emotional Self-Regulation

Self-regulation and mindfulness are essential tools to fix anxious attachment styles. Mindfulness helps you stay present and observe your thoughts and feelings without judgment, while emotional self-regulation allows you to manage your responses in any environment. To practice mindfulness and self-regulation, one must meditate regularly. This means incorporating meditation daily to quiet the ruminating thoughts and fears of abandonment. If meditation is too intense, consider taking a shower or walking outside in nature when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Another option is to honor your ruminating thoughts by journaling them instead of letting them live in your mind.

Date Someone Who Is Emotionally Available

Dating someone comfortable with intimacy may not fix your attachment style but it can influence the way you show up for yourself. A partner who is emotionally available, communicative, and supportive can help create a safe and reassuring environment, whether alone or even through couples psychotherapy. This allows you to stay true to who you are and what standards you have in a relationship.

Individual Psychotherapy is Key to Progress

Individual psychotherapy is critical in learning how to fix anxious attachment styles in relationships. Therapists can help you explore the root causes of your habits, develop healthier relational patterns, and provide emotional support as you move through life. Our clinical mental health counseling addresses this type of trauma-informed care, ensuring that we meet you where you are and tailor our methods to your unique needs.

Remember It Is a Race Not a Sprint

Fixing your anxious attachment style is not an overnight process; it’s a long-term journey that requires patience, vulnerability, persistence, and self-compassion. Instead of controlling the outcome, learn to love the process as you start to notice glimpses of growth and change. Celebrating these mini-wins will help you feel confident in your self-healing journey.